River of Blood
by WD's KiT-TaY
Summary: A flash of lighting in Raven’s Bedroom window revealed what she was about to do… she was going to cut herself, slit her wrist and relax as all her pain and trouble flows a river of blood. R&R! suicidal thoughts and actions consume this story. RobRae
1. Chapter 1

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 1: Why?**

**Hello and Welcome to the show! Now today's fan fiction is going to be about Teen titans! Ya… hm I'm sorry I'm just so board so I can't make this story amusing probably because its tragedy but yeah. If you think this story is too scary or horrible or want to convince me to go to the Light side the happy one with rainbows and flowers and things that are pink then DON'T READ THIS! IT'S NOT YOUR TYPE! Based upon a true story… I think. I don't know it could do… I guess… **

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans but chances are you don't either so HA!

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A flash of lighting in Raven's Bedroom window revealed what she was about to do… she was going to cut herself, slit her wrist and relax as all her pain and trouble flows a river of blood. She held her knife tightly and firmly in her right arm and gently lowered it to her soft grey skin with her sleeve rolled up to her elbow. The sharp blade touched her skin about one third away from her elbow and scraped it to one third way from her hand, leaving a trial of bright red blood escaping the wound.

Raven shut her eyes and sighed out in relief, when no one can see her in the darkness, when ever she is alone, this is what she does. There are many teenagers out there who think that they are fat, ugly, stupid, and heartless yet all seem to have a solution… suicide. Raven was just one of those innocent girls who do not think they are loved and only hated for what they look like when people judge them, because it's a cold cruel world out there and anyone like Raven would give up their own life just to start over… and that's the true reality.

"Raven! Friend Raven! It is I Starfire!"

Raven gasped as she heard her at her door, she had told her friends that she needed to be alone but Starfire would never understand why people would do this to themselves, why they would cut and purge and cry out their pain and sorrow. Starfire's life was all happiness and sunshine, never depression and hate, she never cared about herself that much only to be nice to other people and to make them feel good almost ignoring those who don't.

"Starfire I told you I was busy"

She called from her room, trying to wipe away the blood from her deep cut in case she needed to see Starfire. Raven has to hide this, all her emotions, her cuts, everything from her friends… especially Starfire, something like this would just break her up inside completely and she might want to end her life too, that was the last thing she wanted.

"But Raven! We are going to be watching one of your favourite scary films about 'The Grudge'! You must join us"

"I… can't Star… I… just can't. Not tonight"

Raven could feel through her thick door the slight depressed spirit from Starfire, it hurt her very much that she didn't join her but she couldn't even if it was a good movie.

"I'm Sorry Star"

"…oh no! It is alright I will inform our friends that you will not be coming… Good night"

Star walked away and Raven let a tear drip from her face as she could sense sadness in her. She hadn't been spending much time with her friends lately, always been locked up in her cold depressing room by herself cutting, purging, crying… this is what Raven's life had been like. She jumped on her bed and shut her eyes slowly with tears staining her face and she curled into a tight ball.

"…Sweet nightmares"

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The next day everyone was already up doing their thing, except Raven. Robin was having breakfast by himself on the couch watching a show about cars and random stunts with them, eating pancakes. Robin was always worried about Raven from the day he meet her, like she wasn't doing well with her friends. If there was anyone who could see the pain behind her expressionless violet eyes, it was Robin. He even has a bit of a crush on her, he just won't admit it. Starfire was just too happy for Robin and not so serious, but compared to Raven… will he think laughing, dancing and karaoke is… normal?

Starfire burst into the door with 3 different shopping bags and happily humming she placed them down next to Robin smiling.

"Wow only 3 this time?"

Starfire hummed a yes and opened a bright pink bag and pulled out a white top and showed it to him, in bright pink bold letters he read out…

"Paris for- PRESIDENT! Are you out of your mind woman!"

"It is… bad?"

"… No just amusing"

Starfire had a confused look as if to what it means, she thought it would be a great idea because she heard Paris Hilton quote the words 'I work harder than anyone I know' …apparently the top serves no purpose apart from to look good.

"Where is friend Raven?"

"She is still in her room"

"Raven has not come out? But it is almost the middle of the day PM! Should I-"

"No… I don't think she wants to talk, Starfire"

Robin and Starfire looked at each other with worried faces but Robin just wants to respect Raven's boundaries and if she ever needs help, that her friends are here… all she needs to do is ask. Robin got up and left her there with her bags, he walked to the hallway and saw a drop of blood on the floor… and then a foot print… he walked past everyone's rooms and then Raven's was open and the wall was bent.

"Raven?"

He called inside and walked in, nearly everything was broken or ripped, books out of the shelf and Raven's bed had blood on it. Raven was no where in sight… someone kidnapped her.

"Raven! Raven are you here! RAVEN!"

The others had run to her room at hearing Robin shouting and screaming they gathered around the door and looked in and gasped to see the state the room was in. Robin ran out past the others ignoring them only focused on Raven and who ever hurt her would pay.

"Robin! What is…"

"Raven…"

"Dudes! Come on! You want to save Raven or what?" the others ran after Robin already on his R-Cycle rearing to go to find his love… I mean Raven. Starfire flew and Cyborg and Beast Boy took the T-Car.

"Raven! Raven can you hear me? Raven! ARRG!"

He tried to see if she would answer her communicator but he got nothing but static. The titans were worried, they hadn't seen Robin this stressed ever since he was hallucinating about Slade. Robin was going for his life dodging traffic nearly hitting cars trying to get to the park.

"Yo! Robin! Slow down man! We'll find her don't worry"

"Starfire check downtown, Cyborg and Beast Boy, the bridge and I'll check the park"

They all nodded and split to go different ways, Robin was soon at the park. He got off his R-Cycle and walked around away from the people laughing and eating, Raven would never be seen there, he looked in the bushes and kept on walking to what seemed like the middle of nowhere. Soon he saw some blood and thought someone was around. He heard a rustle from the bushes and he turned to see who it was, he struck a kung fu pose and waiting… then a girl stepped out… it was Raven.

Raven's hair was a mess and tears were running down her face continuously, her uniform was ripped only on her collar and arms revealing her horrible cuts which pressure had been applied and they were dripping with blood. She had no shoes on and her legs had rashes all over as if someone strangling them. Raven looked up at Robin and collapsed on the ground, Robin ran to her shocked as anything and lifted her up in his arms.

"Raven… what happened?"

He whispered to her and she looked at him with her deep violet eyes filled with pain and sorrow… emotions Robin never wanted to see on Raven's face. Her fears because clear as he looked at her skinny body, her bones sticking out with not much fat at all, and the scars… the scars is what scared Robin the most… he knew everything.

"…Why Raven? …you were perfect in my eyes"

More tears steamed down her face onto Robin's glove but he could still feel it, and with that Raven shut her eyes not wanting to look at Robin's expression but Robin knew she wasn't passing out or asleep. He watched her for a minute watching her soft purple hair blowing in wind, forgetting everything and just picturing himself with Raven… and how happy he would be to give up fighting crime just to be happy… with Raven… for Raven.

"Robin, we didn't find anything at the bridge"

"I could not locate Raven downtown, have you had any luck in finding our friend?"

He lifted his communicator to himself slowly and after a long silence he managed to choke out his answer.

"….yes… she's here… with me"

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**Wow that was cool, finally some story I agree with! But just wait… a few months later I'll think its bull shit… oh well R&R peoples and no 'happy sunshine' stuff unless you wish to suffer a slow and painful death because shady will kill you! YOUR COMPUTER WILL KILL YOU WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP! MAHA!**

**Shady**


	2. Chapter 2

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 2: Sweet little Raven**

**Did your computer kill you? I at least hoped it tried, ok now new chapter ok uh in case anyone reviewed then I want to say 'thanks' yay we happy we go home we eat we sleep we die hail Satan... say 'NO! FUCK YOU!' To the giant pink bunnies if they tell you not to read this story and watch teletubies instead with tubbie toast! (Trust me it works they ended up crying and being fired) Shady is evil, Shady will kill you in your sleep, Shady opens her TV to let the little people out, Shady tried to fly and died as a result… ok that's a long enough message from the author, enjoy the story.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans but the little people in the TV from which I watch Teen Titans are my tiny minions and they will kill you in your sleep so try and stop me hahahaha.

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_Star walked away and Raven let a tear drip from her face as she could sense sadness in her. She hadn't been spending much time with her friends lately, always been locked up in her cold depressing room by herself cutting, purging, crying… this is what Raven's life had been like. She jumped on her bed and shut her eyes slowly with tears staining her face and she curled into a tight ball._

"…_Sweet nightmares"_

Sweet little Raven sleeping in her room

In the Darkness she waits in her gloom

Sweet little Raven shaking her wrists

Scrap them everyday call the feeling bliss

Sweet little Raven won't speak a sound

Back in her memory where her thoughts are all bound

Sweet little Raven what will you miss?

Maybe the day where you and Robin kiss

Sweet little Raven ready to die

The only hard part is to say good bye

_From the shadows Raven heard a sound she sat up alert looking around her dark room trying to see is someone is lurking there. Then her mirror on her table falls and smashes on the ground. Raven is really scared but holds it back and warms up her powers, she hears something swipe past her stool._

"_Who's there?"_

_She says then she hears quiet breathing then from behind her but she doesn't turn only listens to hear who it is._

"_Sweet little Raven I am in your room… awaiting to complete a job that is your doom" _

_Raven knew who it was and gasped and turned around but saw nothing but a fist in her face, she was flown back onto the floor with a quiet thud and she didn't want to wake her friends. She got up quickly trying to see in her dark room where this person was but couldn't then from behind her 2 warm hands grabbed her shoulders. She was petrified; she couldn't move, scream or even breathe. _

"_Nice scars Raven… but do you really want to end your life like this? Flow a river of blood with pain and sorrow all 'cause of what you think about yourself? Girls like that are stupid you know? They really are fat, ugly and heartless as well"_

_Raven wanted to scream and shove him away but she couldn't she just tilted her head down and let tears drip from her face. She tried to think of herself and Robin together to block out his words and actions and then he would just leave and she can cry to her pillow all night about it. Instead he knelt down in front of her but she tried to look away as he titled her head up to himself._

"_It hurts doesn't it Raven?" _

_She didn't answer but her lip quivered remembering the pain and she let her emotions go, things in her room started randomly falling and were being throw everywhere… the room was a mess and she just hoped that someone had heard it and would of come to ask if everything was ok, but her friends knew that she never wanted to be saved so they would leave her alone._

_He picked her up and took her out the window of her room and she didn't know where she was going or what he was going to do to her but all she was thinking about was Robin and how he would freak when the titans couldn't find her. But all she could whisper was just a simple word that meant nothing but everything…_

"_Bye"_

Raven awoke with a gasp and sat up immediately and it took her a few seconds to realise where she was, she was in the medical room in Titans Tower. The room she was in was dark and it was only about 10pm, she looked at herself and her arms were bandaged up tightly covering the scars and she was wearing a light blue dress over the top of her ripped uniform. She looked around to see if anyone was still up, she got up despite the pain her legs consumed and went to the door leaving the room as it was.

She walked to the hallway and froze thinking if someone was there in the shadows… if _he _was there. It took a minute or two to gather up her courage and take a few steps toward her room trying not to make to much noise; she didn't want anyone coming out to see if she was alright, especially Robin. She knew at the break of dawn that her friends would get up and start being nice and will want to know what had happened to her but Raven didn't know herself… or maybe she just isn't trying to remember it.

She finally reached her room and opened the door and walked in and saw her room all cleaned up, her shelve was up, her books were back and everything that was broken was replaced. On her bed there was her broken mirror that had dropped still in pieces but with all of them and next to it was a little note that read 'sorry'. She realised what they mean as her mirror is a portal to her mind and they weren't sure where to get a mystical mirror or how much it would cost.

She smiled slightly but it slowly faded away, she went to her bathroom and had a quick shower to wash off all the dry blood on her body and then changed into a clean uniform. Since she was asleep from the afternoon she didn't need rest so she grabbed her favourite book and began to read it even if she had nearly memorised it, she just needed something to get her mind off things but soon after she fell asleep on her bed.

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Next morning it was still dark but Raven had got up early but didn't know what to do. Should she go out and start making her friends breakfast and pretend nothing had happened? Or perhaps run out screaming and crying and tell the titans everything? Or just stay in her room and don't say a word to anyone? …it was a hard choice but after what he had done to her, she felt like she could not trust anyone at the moment, that anyone could just leap up when she least expects and abuse her.

She walked around and around in her room thinking before she heard someone's door open and foot steps down the hallway. She thought they were headed towards the room in which Raven was put but after a while they walked back towards her room and then she heard a knock on her door and only then she felt like she wanted to die just so she didn't have to say anything.

"Raven? …are you in there? Do you want to talk?"

It was Robin and he sounded extremely worried, Raven didn't answer but walked closer to the door to hear if anyone else out there.

"Raven if you're in there please open the door or I'm coming in…"

She starting freaking about if he wanted to hurt her but she thought it was only Robin, the guy who would rather die than see his friends be tortured and would give anything to save Raven but her only fear was that he was too late.

She opened the door slightly revealing her dark, hooded face with no expression and Robin smiled at her but she didn't back.

"…Can I come in?"

He asked and Raven didn't want to hesitate and look like a lost fool so she opened the door for him and she walked to her bed and sat down trying to keep away from him. He walked in and didn't bother about her room only about her, he sat next to her but she moved away he just stayed there looking at her when she was trying to avoid eye contact.

"How are you feeling?"

She nodded as an 'ok' and he nodded as well. Then he looked down at her arms and thought about the horrible scars that littered them on her skin and bone body, he reached out and touched them and she jumped and pulled them back towards herself.

"… Why Raven? There are scars all over your wrists… you've been cutting…"

She stood up and moved away from him trying not to hear him.

"… There is bruising down your throat… you've been purging…"

She turned away from him and was about to walk out the door but she stopped.

"… You could have been mine Raven"

His words echoed through the room and the hurt Raven… bad. She loved Robin… but Robin didn't love her, after what she has done to herself it seemed like she didn't want anyone. Raven forced back her tears and sobs trying not to let him see but he walked up to her as if wanting to expect a kiss… but he walked past out the door to the others, just leaving her there in her own air of insanity and depression.

… After that Raven never spoke a word, not to Robin, not to her friends not even to herself… except Raven was sick… she thought she was dying and even if she was she would be too insane to ask for help. Robin didn't even want to look at her ever again… Raven heard a knock on her door.

She opened it and it was Starfire, she knew about Raven's state and looked more depressed and worried than she had ever seen.

She had a blood red rose in her hand and she gave it to her, Raven took it and smiled at Starfire but she had already walked away quietly. It was as if the whole team was fading away in sorrow, in their own River of Blood.

Until one day….

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**Well wasn't that cute? PLEASE DON'T REVIEW ABOUT MY PAIRINGS! IF YOU DON'T LIKE ROB/RAE TOGETHER AND THE KISS THEN I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE FUCKING READING THIS! THERE IS MORE TO COME! …much more! Muahahaha! Haha… ha… yeah. chirp chirp chirp uhh… Read and Review? Please? And yes I added a flower for my reviewer because you reviewed and it was sweet and I hate you! Jokes! But I showed YOU! HA! Like my poem:D**

**Shady**


	3. Chapter 3

**River of Blood **

**Chapter 3: Forgotten Memories**

**Hay! I was so board that hardly anyone was reviewing, that I reviewed myself! I said 'that's awesome man!' hahahaha! Is that illegal? Who cares? It was funny! Umm… running out of ideas here… help me! And thank you come again but first… REVIEW! **

**IF YOU ARE SCARED OF OFFENDED OR WHATEVER BY RAPE THEN DON'T READ THIS! YOU SHOULD BE IN THE HAPPY/SUNSHINE STORIES! NOT IN THE SUICIDAL/RAPE STORIES! THIS INVOLVES RAPE! …only a bit though… actually it's not even good… oh whatever I don't care!**

Disclaimer: Fuck the disclaimer man! I OWN this story! Not the show! If I did why would I bother on here instead of just making the damn episode! Gosh! Who invented this? Going to kill them!

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It has passed 3 weeks since Raven was found, and she hasn't spoken a word since. Not to Robin, not to her friends, not even to herself. She had stopped meditating but seemed only scared now, scared of her own shadow. She hadn't purged or cut herself until her friends found out, they thought she was crazy but still she was their friend and they treated her like a human.

Robin had given up on helping Raven, he thought even she was dying it would be too late to save her so he just stayed with Starfire. They started dating about a week ago and it was going well for them, but Raven just watched them in jealousy and wanted to be with Robin but she had her chance and just wasted it on blood and depression.

Until one day….

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_Raven gasped as she awoke from her flight having passed out, she looked around and found nothing but darkness surrounding her. She stood up and walked forward till she touched a wall and she followed it to the right then she hit something hard. She banged against it with her hand trying to make out what it was; it made a loud metal sound and then she heard a sigh from it and was alerted of who it was._

"_Boo"_

_He said and before Raven could turn around to run away he grabbed her and shoved her into the wall and pinned her down by her arms and legs so Raven could not move. She struggled to get out of his grasp but it was no use._

"_The poor little Raven is trapped… how cute"_

_Only then Raven actually remember her powers, and her eyes turned a glowing white and she pushed him back with the force of her dark energy. He skidded back and then a light turned on to reveal the criminal… Slade._

Raven lifted her head up with a small gasp, she was in her room in her usual uniform and it was night and raining like hell and thunder and lighting. She was had a flashback of what had happened to her but it ended, because she wanted it to. She had already experienced much pain from Slade and now Robin was making it worse. She wanted to cut herself but Robin would know and probably kill her himself.

Raven decides to go out of her room just to get herbal tea and go back because she was hungry and she hoped no one was in the living room at the time, having to ignore her or help her or just watch her in amazement. Either ways, Raven didn't like it she thought she would never get a connection back with her friends and even know she doesn't know if she's allowed to use the word 'friend'.

She put her hood and opened her door and slowly looked left and then right and it was deserted. She levitated down the corridor and heard from the weightlifting room Cyborg and Beast Boy fooling around about betting on who can lift the most… apparently BB thinks he can lift elephant in human form… he must be high, but Cyborg won't try to ruin his ego, especially if he's betting $10.

She walked past and to the living room hoping not to intrude on Robin and Starfire doing… uh well… anyway there was no one there and Raven let out a sigh of relief and started to make her tea. Once she had done she took it and walked back to her room unnoticed. 'that was easy' she thought to herself, then when she took a sip of her tea she bumped into Robin, spilling her tea down her leotard and hot liquid burned her skin. She looked up at Robin who looked kind of determined as usual.

"… Sorry"

He said and he walked past her without turning back or worrying about her at all. Raven just ran back to her room and closed the door. She wanted to hammer it down with nails and boards of wood to block even the strongest of people to come through. More thoughts of what happened plagued her mind, she tried to take them off by reading her book but it was no use.

_She was just too paranoid to do anything, she couldn't even scream though she tried with all her might to. She opened her mouth but only let out choked breaths. He walked towards her out of the light and it blinked off and she couldn't see a thing, everything was pitch black and she wasn't sure what he was going to do to her then she felt someone on her shoulders._

"_Relax Raven… "_

_Raven tensioned and then fell to the ground facing up and was pinned down and she felt lips pressing all over her neck and face. Raven was paralysed… literally she couldn't move, blink or breathe. She couldn't see who Slade really was but could make out a face, a simple normal face, but which one out of the infinity in the world?_

_Slade moved his hands from her breasts down her curves and then at her stomach he ripped her clothes off. Raven tried to push him off now that she realised… he was raping her!_

"_Ah ah ah Raven, I'm not through with you yet… I know how you like pain, and I'll give you enough to take you all the way to the end"_

_Raven started to cry as he was ripped the last of her clothes off and then she shut her eyes and wished that it would all go away, the pain, the sorrow, the torture and everything else and she wished Robin was here to save her and beat Slade to death with his own 2 hands. But that would never happen for Raven… She would have been the one left behind and forgotten in the rain, and that's how it always will be._

_  
_Raven opened her eyes again crying like mad and rocking back and forth on her bed hugging her book remembering the horrible feeling of him raping her and sticking his tongue down her bruised throat, and his hands following her curves and his legs wrapped around hers tightly and how she was helpless, a poor little helpless girl who innocence was ripped from her.

Raven couldn't take it, she ran to her bathroom and lifted the toilet lid and puked at the sick mind she had just witnessed. She really was sick but she thought since she was raped she could be… _pregnant_

To Raven this was the worst that could happen, she thought that if she told them they would kick her out of the titans and throw her out of the tower and leave her on the street as a beggar and then finally dying after catching a disease by eating a rat. Raven never wanted her future to be like that. She thought if she was she would have to kill herself or ran away, because her friends would never understand her side of they story.

Raven was desperate, she searched through her draws and cupboards and found one… a pregnancy test. (shrugs I know it's strange isn't it? But what the hell it's fan FICTION!) She took it and then she waited… and waited till finally… red… it was positive… she was pregnant.

Raven dropped it and fell to her knees in shock. She wanted to grab her knife and slut both her wrists and cut deep… so deep the knife would appear out the other end of her arm, let it all go and be free forever.

Raven changed out of her uniform into some black baggy jeans and a dark blue loose top and put a black hoodie over it and put the hood over her head covering some of her face in shadow. She packed a bag with all her suicidal stuff, the knife she cuts herself with, the drawings she did of people suffering and dying and some other personal stuff that she stuffed in a black bag with badges of rock bands that BB gave to her.

All this stuff would be burned if she dies, or kept close to her if she survived. Raven looked around at her empty dark room; she smiled at a picture of her friends she left on her bed with Star eating mustard with Silkie, BB hanging from a tree ready to fall, Cyborg and Robin holding a basketball laughing and then in a corner was raven reading under the shade of a tree… this is where it all went wrong for her.

She mouthed the words 'bye' and climbed out her window and drifted down to the ground. She looked up and the tower and then let out all her tears. She loved the rain, because no one can tell she is crying. She walked out into the city past everyone not knowing who the mysterious Goth girl is but she didn't care and she never did.

And with a sigh of pain, Raven walked out into the dark cold night where anyone can be forgotten… But Raven already was.

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**:'( Poor Raven**

**What'll happen you reckon? I bet you won't get it! I got something special planned!**

**THAT'S IT! IF I DON'T GET OVER 10 REVIEWS THEN I HAVE NO REASON TO WRITE! EVEN IF YOU JUST WRITE 'CHEESE' THEN IT COUNTS! EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT LOGGED IN OR DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT I WANT TO KNOW IF SOMEONE OUT THERE IS READING THIS! PLEASE!**

**Thanks luv ya!**

**Shady**

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	4. Chapter 4

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 4: You came… for me?**

**YAY! More than 10 reviews I have to write now… shit! Jokes! Wow I thought I would just get the odd one or two reviews saying 'good' and 'please update'. But thanks! Thank you so much! I will write much faster now! jumps up and down I'm hysterical YAY! Now… I think I went a little over the top with the whole raven being pregnant thing but it's for a good cause at the end and yes romance comes VERY soon… I'll give you a hint; it's a Rob/Rae pairing! ;) I'm so happy! laughs like goofy …what? I'm not a geek! I don't even know what H. T. M. L. stands for! hides glasses and quickly low rides shorts -really!**

… **Should I reply to you're reviews? 0.0 …maybe next chapter when there's more reviews hint, hint! YES! I WILL! TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN! P.S. LEAVE YOUR FLOWERS AND BAGS OF SUNSHINE BEHIND THANK YOU! **

Disclaimer: why do I even bother? CAUSE I'M AN IDOIT! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M A LITTLE GOODIE-TWO-SHOE WHO IS OBESSED WITH DRUGS, VOILENCE, SEX AND MORE DRUGS! YEAH! THAT'S ME AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT! …ekk! Teacher! hides behind geography book "this book is great Ms. Archer… I, I never polar bears were white" ….k…. moving on

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_She mouthed the words 'bye' and climbed out her window and drifted down to the ground. She looked up and the tower and then let out all her tears. She loved the rain, because no one can tell she is crying. She walked out into the city past everyone not knowing who the mysterious Goth girl is but she didn't care and she never did._

_And with a sigh of pain, Raven walked out into the dark cold night where anyone can be forgotten… But Raven already was. _

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Later, the titans had not been aware that she was missing until everyone got called for dinner.

"DUDES! DINNER'S SERVED! COME GET IT WHILE IT'S STILL HOT!"

BB's call echoed through the tower and Starfire and Robin walked in together laughing about something… most likely funny. Cyborg came after them humming happily to himself about something… happy. (Ok sorry I'll move on) They sat down at the couch and Cyborg turned on the TV to watch Friends. (What the hell?) And Beast Boy handed out there dinner, Cyborg studies his.

It looked like vegetables, potatoes and bacon… but was it real meat? This is when Cyborg needs 'the tofu detector!' he scans it and It says 'REAL MEAT, EAT IT NOW!' … he does so in a very unpleasant manner.

"Where is friend Raven? Should I ask her to join us in eating the dinner?"

"Didn't she get some herbal tea a while ago?"

"-till I spilt it…"

Everyone stares at Robin menacingly.

"What? I said sorry! It's not like she'll want something to eat before she throws it back up"

Starfire couldn't take Robin insulting her all the time; she dropped her dinner on the floor and pounded her fist on the table nearly breaking it, except she could not feel 'boundless confidence'.

"Please stop talking about Raven that way!"

Starfire demanded and everyone went quiet. Starfire flew out to the corridor to Raven's room and knocked on it loudly.

"Raven you're dinner is ready! Please come join us!"

She waited hopefully and the others followed behind her but nothing happened from Raven's room. Starfire knocked louder.

"…Raven!..."

Starfire whacked her door down and gasped, there was no one there and it looked emptier than it ever did. Everyone searched it and Robin found the photo on her bed, he looked at Raven being ignored by everyone under the tree reading.

"… She ran away"

Everyone gasped and Robin realised he had been too hard on her, that's why she ran away and he thought she was probably already drowning in her own River of Blood. Starfire turned to him and grabbed him and shook him by the shoulders.

"We must find our friend! Who knows what kind of trouble she could be in! Perhaps the one from which we found her"

She let go as he turned away and was thinking.

"…and what trouble was that?"

Everyone went quiet trying to think what _could_ have happened and then Robin figured it out. What are the things that drive woman crazy? Body image? Looks? Rape? … He wandered into her bathroom while the others are still pondering over it, and then in her bin he saw it… the pregnancy test.

Robin ran to her window and looked out of it, there was a still a thunder storm outside and thought Raven couldn't have gotten far, a weak little girl like her.

"Robin?"

He walked out of her room and turned to the worried faces whose troubled little minds wish they were as smart as the boy wonders to figure something like this out, except BB. Such a mind like his couldn't even do that, the '…what if' questions just hurt.

"I'll bring her back"

He walked out and the others thought back to when the world was ending but Robin still had hope and they knew that he still did even if it was the end of Raven… he would bring her back.

He walked to the garage and thought it best to take the T-car; he hoped Cyborg didn't mind but all Robin was thinking was 'you break it, you bought it' he started it up and left. They others watched from living room and they heard him drive off. Cyborg pressed himself against the window.

"YO! Man there goes my ride! And he's taking it!"

"I believe that was the on tone of the T-car"

Cyborg sighs wearily and continually bangs his head against the giant window.

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Raven was soaking wet and getting worse, her hair was sticking to her face and her hands and arms were freezing. She walked down to the end of a street away from the busy city and so exhausted thought since she was already drenched she could just sit down on the ground. She couldn't see anyone around her, she thought if she stayed here then the rain would flood her but she was too cold to move.

She was wandering what the titans were doing right now…probably not even aware that she was gone or having a party that she was and they could be free and happy without having to listen to mindless chanting of meditation and insulting and sarcastic comments she makes at them. They would have been better off without her in the first place.

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Robin turned into a corner still far off from where Raven was but then realised that she would be in a place were she would never want to be found even if it was in a flooding sewage gutter, away from the world from which had been so cruel to her.

He kept driving and stopping and driving and stopping and driving and driving and driving and stopping, till on one stop he saw something at the corner of a street under a dripping tree. He got out of the car and walked towards it, he stopped about a metre away and realised it was a girl covered by a dark hood and black clothes with a bad beside her, it didn't move.

Raven didn't know someone was there and kept thinking about the things she had done wrong in her life and apparently there could have been a list, but that list was ripped to shreds when she heard the soft caring voice…

"… Raven?"

Raven froze wandering if it really was him, yes it was, it was Robin the boy wonder she had always admired so very much and he came all the way out into the cold dark pouring night just for Raven. She felt like she could cry but gently lifted her emotionless face to him to see the same hair, mask and face.

"Raven… come on… come home"

Raven stared at his hand and thought this must be some sort of trick but she felt that he could help her somehow; maybe she could trust him enough to tell him the truth.

"… for me, please Raven… for me…"

He knelt down to her and she wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder, she tried not to ruin the moment by thinking that she was making a mistake in coming home, but she thought she could hang on for just a little longer… for Robin.

He picked her up of the ground and carried her to the T-car and lowered her to the ground so she could get in the car. He got in and he smiled to himself thinking that he really could help her and he could convince her to live life to fullest instead of dwelling in her room waiting for a death wish. He got in the car and just thought it best to drive home first instead of bringing up the topic straight away.

"…_you're pregnant"_

_Raven pauses and screams and runs out of the car and jumps off a cliff._

"…_uh… so you don't want to talk about it? ... "_

Robin laughs to himself at this thought but tries not to think up a sequel as it might be offensive to Raven… hm… gee ya think? They drive home together and on the way Raven falls asleep and for once not a nightmare or scary memory of her past, but a dream… a nice happy one where you are flying over the beautiful scenery of New Zealand. (Go there! It's an AWESOME country! And not just because I live there! …oh gosh where did everyone go? Probably put them off… oh well)

Robin smiled and stroked her cheek softly and he kissed her gently on the cheek.

"There is always hope"

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**Aww! Now wasn't that cute? Don't worry it will get better… better… than it's a tragic ending. So if you're not going to read the whole story then at least read the last 2 paragraphs on the last chapter! And REVIEW PLEASE! . I want 20! Jokes! Just please review! I make the updates very fast! No longer than 2 days! Unless computer crash or no computer then a certain someone doesn't have to kill me! stares menacingly at ****WriteR WhO WriteS**** and cracks both knuckles**

**Was this chapter a waste?... be honest now it was simple but quite moving? Pathetic? Boring? Exciting? Futuristic? Apparently it has pink bunnies in it? Please tell me and if I'm doing something wrong and as funny as it may be, don't leave me to look like an idiot and laugh at me… it isn't very nice… HA! THAT GUY IS WEARING PINK! HE'S GAY! HAHAHA! **

**Shady**

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	5. Chapter 5

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 5: I promise**

'**Arrow! Thanks for the reviews and this chapter is kind of more 'happy' actually no… just plain funny and yeah there is romance… and the opposite but I promise it will get better then better then when things were about to get to a 'happily ever after' Slade comes in and…. Well we'll have to wait for that won't we! grins no seriously I don't even know what will happen yet I will make it up as I go! Yay! Go me! Anyway enjoy this one and REVIEW! …..please?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen titans but I own the new clothes I got from Glassons and JayJays! I smiles and walks down catwalk showing my new gothic style very cool clothing… then trips over high platform gothic boots and falls and breaks neck and dies and everyone applauses… at least I die with a smile! . Yay! Go me!

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_Robin smiled and stroked her cheek softly and he kissed her gently on the cheek._

"_There is always hope"_

Robin didn't want to wake her so he carried her up to the tower past the slightly confused Titans that were wishing to help their cold and sick friend. BB looking rather depressed than the others held a hand to her but Robin backed away.

"… Leave her alone"

He tried to say in the softest voice possible trying not to sound offensive to Beast Boy. He continued his walk to Raven's room, he opened the door and laid her on her bed and while he was pulling her sheets over her she awoke.

Raven looked at him and smiled and when Robin noticed her, he stopped and leaned over her and stared at her into her deep violet eyes that hold the most tragic secret a young girl could ever have.

She was confused and then he narrowed his eyes at her but tried to force a smile off…. Ok an extreme case of hysteria by what he wanted to talk to her about and wanted to save the laughing for her embarrassment.

"Is there something you want to… talk to me about?"

Robin was taunting her and she did get the hint but was trying not to think of it, she would never tell him ANYTHING not even that she had a desperate craving for cheese, they would never know.

"Something… serious?"

She nodded her side to side slowly trying to look like she had no idea what he was talking about but to Robin, she was making him think that he was the Mayor of Crazy Town in the land of Retardia… lovely place it is.

"… Any secrets? Emotions? Facts? …Anything? Oh that's right you won't talk will you?"

She nods her head up and down slightly smiling at what he has just learnt today.

"Well how about I tell you what I know?"

Raven's smile fads and she turns over away from Robin still lying on her bed.

"… I know why you left… you found something out… a secret that would screw up your life forever… and you thought your friends wouldn't like you again for it… even though it wasn't your fault… you ran away… took all your personal things with you… and sat on the side of the road ready to rot…"

Raven was listening and what hurt was everything that he said was true about her. She let 2 tears drip from both eyes and closed them trying to trick him into being asleep by his lovely 'bedtime story'.

"But you never told anyone… not even your most trusted friend who would understand and always be there for you no matter what happens… you left yourself to die and hoped no one would find you and for what you did… and everything is the cause of one particular person… the one that made your life a living nightmare… _the one that got you pregnant_…."

Raven let a horrified gasp from her mouth and was about to scream because of the memories she could feel him behind her, she could hear his breathing and smell his hot breath, she could feel his hands all over her and Raven opened her eyes bloodshot and jumped out of bed surprising Robin and ran to her Mirror.

She looked in it and in her eyes she saw Robin as Slade and she screamed so loud and her emotions were let go and shattered the mirror into a thousand pieces cutting and scaring her body. She moved away near her books they were already being flown out towards her and he room was a mess again and Raven couldn't stop it… she needed to end her pain now.

Right then a very frightened Robin held her and turned her around to face him and she saw Robin, the one who has always been there for her and even now when she is going insane. The room stopped rattling and things stopped moving and breaking and Raven breathed deeply trying to calm down.

"Raven! Relax it's only me… it's only me… you're ok now… you're safe"

He brought her to himself and held her in a tight hug and she hugged him back and she wrapped her arms around him, she wanted to tell him everything about what she has done and what happened but out of millions of things important to say she only said one… marshmallow! Jokes…

"S-Slade…"

She choked out and Raven held her back to look at her properly and had a wild eyed look on his face.

"Raven! You're talking!"

"Slade! Slade! He did it! Slade! It was at night and I was asleep but then I saw something and my mirror broke and I saw a shadow and-"

Robin held her again thinking and listening while she was mumbling away non stop about what happened and she wasn't stopping for breaths either and then after a while she looked back to him.

"… but then you came for me, I never thought anyone would but … you…"

"Shh… enough talking…"

Raven right then burst into tears again and she brought both her hands to her face and then from behind a book blew up unexpectedly, Raven jumps and stops and turns to it.

"I'm sorry… about everything I ever did… I just didn't think you liked me…"

Robin denying this dragged her into him and they had a long passionate kiss. Robin smiled and laughed when they were done but Raven just looked confused by this. Robin walked out of her door and yelled down the hallway.

"Oh really!"

Raven was left in her own messy room and thought she might as well tidy it up. Robin knew that what he was about to do was VERY risky and it could cost him his life unless it was reasonable but didn't want to spoil Raven's secret, he would leave her to do that. He walked past a few rooms with all the titans in them but he stopped at a certain one… _Starfire._

He knocked on her door with the smile gone from his face but it was there in his mind but thought it would be knocked right out his noggin soon. The door slowly opened to a scared Starfire but when she saw Robin she smiled and jumped on him almost strangling him.

"Robin!"

"…h he hi 'tar"

He choked out and Star let go and starting questioning him.

"Is friend Raven ok? I heard some screaming and disruptance in our home and is she alright? Does she require assistance with anything? Must she need the girl-to-girl talking?"

Robin thought it best to answer her questions first or she might get real angry if he jumped into the subject.

"Um no she's fine she just needs some rest… what are you doing now"

She giggles and grins frightfully at him and holds up her hands, with her gloves off she has them all painted a light pink colour and on her left hand pinkie has a small white heart on it. It certainly smelled like nail vanish and Robin looks in disgust but trying not to offend Starfire and her preppy ways.

"I have been performing the painting of the finger nails to get my mind of things so horrible lately…"

Starfire sighed and stared at her heart… it might as well have a knife sticking through it and be on fire. Robin thought now that the time was right… he would break up with her. (Oh in the beginning of chapter…2? I said they were dating and were together and stuff but not anymore!)

"Um… Starfire?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh… you know how we have been dating for what… 3… 4 weeks now? And I do love you but…"

Oh no! She is getting suspicious!

"…I...I just don't think that… this is going to work out"

There now that was easy! Now for the aftermath! grabs popcorn and watches from BB's room intensely

"…you are … doing the 'dumping' on me?..."

"I'm sorry Star but we are still friends? Right?"

"But I thought it was going so well! What did I ever do-"

"No no! It was never you it was me! It was always me!"

Star holds back tears of betrayal and looks down at her purple boots. After a while Robin puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Starfire…"

Star looks up slowly with anger in her bright glowing green eyes, and Robin backs away carefully.

"Star?"

She flies back into her room and grabs everything she can find and starts yelling at him with a mix of Tamaranian and English and Robin to paranoid to move is unfortunately an easy target for her very hard and girly objects flown at him. Poor Robin.

"OUCH! Starfire! Stop it! Cut it out!"

"You said you loved me! And that no love can last like this love!"

Right then Starfire picked up a hair dryer from her bed and throw it at him and Robin trying to reason with Star didn't see it coming and it hit him on the head! Robin yells in pain and falls backward on the ground. Starfire realises what damage she has done to her friend and she gasps and runs to his side, Robin holding his bleeding head in pain.

"Robin! Oh! I am sorry! I did not mean to-"

"No no… it's ok… I think I deserved that and no you didn't mean to hit me on the head with a hair dryer hence the 'throwing hard objects at Robin for dumping me' game"

He smirks at her and she just gets pissed at him again and turns around and walks into her room without a word not even caring if Robin had brain damage or was already brain dead or had eternal bleeding or AIDS or anything serious like that. He sighs and walks back past everyone's rooms and noticed that they are slightly open with one or two eyes poking from them.

"Hey guys!"

He shouts and almost immediately every door had shut loudly and they run to their beds pretending to be asleep. Robin laughs manically… maybe he did get brain damage… shrugs Star was the doctor and she gave it pass not my job. He waked to Raven's room and knocked on her door.

"Me again"

The door opened and Raven was already dressed in her usual uniform and was dry apart from her hair was a bit damp, she was still looking confused about what he did and then noticed the cut on his forehead…

"Robin! Your head! It's bleeding… what did you do? Break up with Starfire!"

"Actually yeah I did"

"…Maybe you really are brain damaged"

She walked back to her bed and sat down on it looking depressed, Robin followed her and sat next to her.

"What's wrong?"

"…why did you do that?"

"Because… you need someone around, to help you deal with this and I can't really help you while I'm dating Starfire"

"You wouldn't dump her just for me… would you?"

"…well… I always thought she was… kind of 'too happy'… on our third, she tried to drag me to the Santary Moons! I wondered if the air was even breathable"

Raven let out a weak laugh and Robin smiled at her.

"…So when are you going to tell the others about you being… well you know"

"I was planning that they would figure it out"

"Come on Raven you have to tell them or I will! And why can't I? You can trust them they are our friends and Starfire will understand why I dumped her, and it's not like they are not going to notice I mean you are already getting fat"

"…But… what if they hate me? What if they don't want me and think I'm a slut faced hoe and wants me to live my own life?"

Robin can't believe Raven would even think that and he hugs her tight with his warm arms wrapped around her shoulders massaging them gently.

"They would never do anything like that to you _ever_ you hear me? And Raven… don't cut… please don't cut and don't end your life… you have a lot to experience instead of staying locked up in your room all day. Things will get better… I promise"

Raven looks at him and nods thinking about the pain… what about the pain… could it be it was never really there? Just something she thought was ruining her life? Destroying her pain by making it worse… if she could suffer a quick painless death, she would die happy… but since having to live with it… she doesn't know what will happen and doesn't even want to think about it.

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**OK so that was it for this chapter and yawn I'm tired I want to go to bed… NO! I'M HUNGRY! looks in cupboards hopefully and finds… OMG! THERE ARE MARSHMELLOWS! AHHHHH! runs down street in PJ while being attacked by a mob (packet) of 95 fat free, pink and white, squishy MARSHMELLOWS! THE WORLD HAS COME TO AN END! …I'm serious! Or maybe I'm on crack… nah I'm pretty sure I'm serious. At school we got this dodgy books about drugs, sex, abuse and all that Jazz and tomorrow I fear we might have …'the talk'! DUN DUN DUN! Wish me luck! Maybe we'll just watch a video instead! …even worse! I can not escape the dodgy ness! Help! …I think I'll go to bed now. Rock on man!**

**Shady**

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	6. Chapter 6

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 6: The thread has been broken**

**Ok not much people are reviewing now… if no one is going to read then that's fine this story doesn't have to have an ending apart from this story was cancelled after no one read it… it's your choice… prove to me you are reading and the stupid word to prove it would be 'marshmallow' and if you include this word it means you are not just skim reading and looking at author's notes which in this story would just improve your insanity level. Thank you and enjoy.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans, if I did then no one would watch it... OMG! A MARSHMALLOW! AAAAHHHH!

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Raven slightly opened her eyes, squinting at her burly image in front of her soon resembled Robin. She groaned and got out of her bed but tried not to wake Robin and she put her blankets over him thinking he might get cold as it was quite cool. She walked to her desk and looked at her clock which was 5:48 am, she looked in her mirror and saw the same ugly unwanted girl she saw everyday steering back at her with those deep violet eyes and grey skin. She felt like she wanted to smash her image with her hands making it break away never to be seen again.

She grabbed her cloak and put in on and lifted her hood up, then she turned but banged into her chair as she did not see in front of her and tripped over it but grabbed to table next to it to get her balance while the chair fell over. The loud clashing noise vibrated through the room disturbing the high pitch silence surrounding the cool air.

"Hmm… Raven?"

She heard a mumbled voice from her bed, Robin turned to face her but did not get up, and Raven could not tell if he was still asleep or just silently starring at her through his mask. But he was already awake and he watched Raven starring back at him and without moving her eyes, she pulled the chair back up with her powers and turned to go out her door, thinking he was still asleep with being so early.

"Morning"

He said more clearly and Raven turned around immediately with a suspicious face studying him. He smiled and sat up and Raven sighed.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Don't worry about it… it's about time I got up anyway"

Robin yawned in between and even behind Raven's hood he could see her blushed and trying to fight of a smile. Then she suddenly had a thought if he was there all night.

"Um… did we?..."

"No"

"…you didn't…"

"I would never"

Raven sighed with relief and then there was an awkward silence, then Raven felt the morning sickness and started to feel a bit dizzy. She turned from Robin and shut her eyes tight trying to hold it back, but it wasn't any use.

"Morning sickness?"

"…Excuse me"

Raven ran to her bathroom and locked the door behind her. Robin got out of her bed and pulled the sheets back up trying to tidy it up, he thought he might just look around her room for a bit while waiting for Raven. He walked to her desk and opened a drawer with photos in it of her friends, and a few pens and books.

He crossed her deserted room to her bed again thinking, then from under her mattress she saw then end of a black book. Robin knew he would be invading her privacy and it's disrespectful but Raven was taking so long and he couldn't help himself. He pulled it out and it was black leather with gold covered corners and on the front it read 'Journal' For Robin this was the jackpot, he opened it carefully wanting a peak and stopped on a page it read:

'_Dear Diary_

_I can not deny my feelings for Robin, I can't even look at him without making something blow up. Curse these powers that make my emotions dangerous! I love him… I really do love him but Cyborg told me he asked Starfire out on a date, I'm heart broken. I thought behind my expressionless face and sarcastic remarks he would see the true me and how much I want to be his forever. But he's spending all his time on Starfire… why doesn't he spend time with me? I know it's because I'd deny it but it's not like a wouldn't if I could. If he ever reads this then I am doomed. If Beast Boy reads this, he'd be getting money from pictures on the internet; on TV, oh I can only imagine the immature pin head! If I only had one wish… I wouldn't wish to be hot or happy or be smart… I would only want to be with Robin… if only I could though… if only... if only.'_

Robin was petrified to even think about Raven writing this, he never even thought about something like this… she really wanted him? Robin? The Boy Wonder? Who is obsessed with catching the bad guys? He was sure Starfire would never want him that much. Robin wanted to learn more, he turned to the last page with writing on it and thought this might give him a clue about how Slade really was… it read.

_I am cold and lonely, but I fear if someone will sit beside me._

_Friends and family can not be trusted, after one person melts your heart to thick custard._

_It's not that they'd hurt you but you might never know,_

_One day there'll turn on you and start to grow._

_My rapist is evil and will be the death of me_

_Who knows…? I might even carry his unborn baby… _

_My pain is still there in the memories I relive,_

_I want to end it now, the only words I can give._

_Please god take me, take me away!_

_Away from the cruel world I must look at day by day._

_Take me… take me away… away… away…_

"Are you ok?"

Raven said and Robin scared to death by Raven seeing him turned to face her closing and hiding the book behind him. Robin was even more afraid, it sounded like Raven should be in an insane asylum the way she writes her dark poetry! He blushed profusely sweat drops coming from his temple.

"Yeah! Just great! Better than ever!"

Robin forced a smile on his face trying to scare her off so he can put the book back and get the fuck out of there! She sat on her bed and turned from him and Robin thought this was his one and only chance to stuff the book back under the mattress before she notices, he does so and sits next to her.

"You've got to tell them"

"But I don't want to"

"Raven! You have to!"

"I can't! I'm sorry but I can't!"

"Tell them or I will!"

"Fine!"

"No! You must tell them because it's about you! It doesn't involve me!"

"You tell them!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Fine I'LL tell them!"

"… No! You can't tell them! It doesn't involve you!"

Robin growls having enough of Raven, he turns to her and holds her hand. Robin can tell she doesn't want any other human contact on her skin but he doesn't care.

"Raven… do yourself a favour… do to a doctor and get checked out, it'll only take 5 minutes and then tell your friends and I the news ok?"

Raven is shocked! How can he even suggest that! Robin smiles and gets up to leave, Raven wanted to stop him but couldn't, she wanted to cry. She didn't want to because she feared that they might take her to a Mental hospital. Robin realises what he's done.

"…Raven… I'm sorry"

"Get away from me!"

Raven says in a low monotone voice, Robin backs off and then the alarm goes off. The towers flashes red and Robin stares at Raven, she narrows her eyes and flies out the door. Robin runs after her.

"NO! Raven! Don't go! You'll get hurt!"

Raven didn't care, she flew past the others ready to go and pushed past Cyborg to check the computer… it was Slade. Raven knew she didn't want to go, Robin would always be on back and would hurt anyone who touched her and she was in no condition to fig. She was still sick and she hadn't had breakfast and not even dinner from yesterday. She was weak, but Raven was damned if she was going to let that get to her.

"Hello titans, glad to see you. It's been a long time"

Slade said and Robin came through the door next to Raven, he looked at her. Raven couldn't even look at Slade's face after what he did to her. She turned away fighting the tears that bring her, her own misery. Robin then felt extreme anger, that guy raped Raven, and ripped her to more shreds then she already was… _he was going to kill him!_

"… Something the matter Raven?"

Raven turned to a close up of him on the screen, he looked deep into her eyes and realised she was already hanging by a thread, one more little snip and she will fall. Raven turned into her soul self and flew through the roof out to the city, she already knew where he was.

"Raven!"

Robin called out and Slade chuckled and then the screen went blank.

"What is wrong with Raven…"

Robin thought they were onto her and Robin turned to them viciously and Robin and Starfire shared a hateful glance.

"He's in downtown! Titans! GO!"

He yelled and then burst to the garage and jumped on him R-Cycle and raced after Raven. (God knows how… aren't they on a island in the middle of the sea?... strange people… anyway) The others apart from Starfire jumped in the T-Car and raced after him.

"Dude! Slow down! Don't worry we'll catch Slade"

"…it's not Slade I'm worried about"

Everybody went quiet and the titans split to search for Slade and the city was surprisingly deserted, not fully but mostly. Then Robin saw Raven in an alleyway. Robin chased after her.

"Raven! Wait up!"

She turned around while still floating and looked at him, wanting to know why does he keep following her, what does he have against her or what does he want from her?

"Aren't we meant to find Slade?"

"Yeah but… we can talk at the same time can't we?"

"I guess"

"…I … I didn't mean it Raven"

"What?"

"What I said about the hospital… it was… I'm sorry"

"You know I would never go and it was mean and stupid. They raise you like you were actually wanted"

"Ok… it was mean… and stupid?"

"Slade!"

Raven called and They chased after him on the roof tops, the others had already found him and they keep running and flying for almost 5 minutes before they could actually get up to his face. When they were back on the ground Slade got away and they still needed to catch them but the titans were tried… especially Raven.

"Please Raven! Go back to the tower, we'll be fine! You're not well!"

"I can handle it!"

Raven was pretty pissed, she felt dizzy and her head really bad and she thought that this was abnormal somehow. She fell on top of the roof a bit behind from the others and then she felt it. Her heart was clenched in a massive hand staining it with blood which ached, her throat had closed up and she gasped for air but she couldn't. She fell to her knees and her vision went foggy, she tried to keep going, telling herself that she was ok but she wasn't… that final thread… was broken.

Raven fell off the building and was falling through the thick air and was about to hit the ground, she now couldn't feel a thing and for once in her life… her pain was gone. But then before she was about to meet her doom, 2 hands caught her and he fell on his knees trying to hold her up. He kept screaming her name but she couldn't hear anything. He picked her up and carried her away back to her home with her friends following her.

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**Well… how do you feel about that? No seriously tell me! I have something planned! It doesn't end there…. Muahahaha! Review lots and I'll get a story up TOMORROW! …or the day after that it depends on homework you know? Yeah…**

**Shady**


	7. Chapter 7

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 7: A new life line**

**Arrow! Anyway I'm a bit disappointed in reviews peoples… but I don't care! I'm going to write it anyway! Who knows? The whole entire world might read my story when I'm up to the last chapter! …what a dream that would be… anyway here is lucky 7 chapter! REVIEW! And… RAVEN IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT DEAD! HA! FOOLED YOU! HER DEATH IS MUCH MORE TRADGIC! …THEN AGAIN… WHO SAID SHE MIGHT DIE? OHHH! SUSPENCE! SUSPENCE!**

Disclaimer: I couldn't own teen titans because no one reviews it! (What the hell?...)

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_Raven was pretty pissed, she felt dizzy and her head really bad and she thought that this was abnormal somehow. She fell on top of the roof a bit behind from the others and then she felt it. Her heart was clenched in a massive hand staining it with blood which ached, her throat had closed up and she gasped for air but she couldn't. She fell to her knees and her vision went foggy, she tried to keep going, telling herself that she was ok but she wasn't… that final thread… was broken._

_Raven fell off the building and was falling through the thick air and was about to hit the ground, she now couldn't feel a thing and for once in her life… her pain was gone. But then before she was about to meet her doom, 2 hands caught her and he fell on his knees trying to hold her up. He kept screaming her name but she couldn't hear anything. He picked her up and carried her away back to her home with her friends following her._

The titans came home, Raven in Robin's tight arms was gently placed on a bed in their medical room (that thingy thing in the… thing hehe!) Robin sat in a chair next to her, staring at her soft lovely face. The titans were too scared to do anything apart from wait for Raven to wake up… but she already was except the others would question her and Robin about what happened and Raven would have to tell… not Robin… it wasn't his business but Raven was prepared to tell and ready for any reaction whatsoever.

"…did we catch Slade?"

"No… we had to break off the attack to take care of you"

"Friend… you are ok? You do not require assistance with anything or wish to tell us something?"

Starfire questioned and Raven looked to Robin, he nodded his head and then smiled trying not to force Raven but he knew they wouldn't hate her or take her away. She smiled back then looked to her friends and tried to choke out her words.

"Yes…. I do…"

"….well… what is it?"

"But…. Uh I um… uhh…"

Robin held her hand in his and moved her chin towards him.

"Raven… you can tell us _anything_… it doesn't matter what, we'll always be here for you"

Raven looked at Starfire and even though she looked extremely sorry for Raven, she could see the jealousy in her emerald eyes. She knew that Robin wanted Raven and only because she found out he read her diary, she didn't know what were the words inside but she knew enough that would make Robin fall for her… and Starfire was jealous.

"… I, I… I am pregnant"

Raven said it, she shut her eyes immediately not wanting to see their reaction, a celebration or a vicious attack either all, she didn't want to see it. Then after about 5 seconds no movement seemed to be happening and Raven thought they had left her, ran out of the room to leave her there alone for the rest of eternity… she let yet another tear of sorrow fall from her face, she couldn't help it.

"Raven…"

Before she even opened her eyes, she was embraced in a very tight hug of 4 people. At first she felt scared but then she thought they were still there… they would never hurt her. She lifted her arms and hugged the ones in front of her and she smiled and when her tear dropped from her face, it gave a shine, the tear was pure and now stood for love and friendship. It fell to the ground and slowly evaporated.

Yes it is true, Raven's last thread of her life line had fallen, but then she started a new one… a long, thick, strong as steel line that no amount of sorrow, pain or cuttings could break… this was hope. And it was all thanks to Robin… she loved him and he loved her back and their love was as strong as her life line… it will never break and will never fall… no one could do that.

…_Or could they?_

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**Ok I know that was short and happy and stuff but I needed it! It was important I swear! It will get better I promise and when I say that I mean more tragic and heart breaking but review on this and tell me what you think I meant by '_…Or could they?' _**

**If you are right, I give you imaginary cookie! If you are wrong then I give you cheese! (Imaginary cheese of course!) **

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! THANK YOU! NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP VERY QUICK I PROMISE!**

**Shady**


	8. Chapter 8

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 8: It is time**

…**_Smile for the world Shady_… -grins at everyone and they run away screaming- and this just proves NEVER trust your conscious. Ok this is kind of near the end of story so random stuff happens and I will miss out stuff simply because I do not know what happens… and I wouldn't try it either… I just don't want to go into gory detail like in chapter 3 when I scared nearly everyone away…**

**So basically suicidal stuff coming: D stay tuned!**

Disclaimer: My mummy sayth I'm thpecial no matter what the other kidth thay! You talks funnys! ….I got a lithp! …a littthhhhhpp! So that's why I don't own teen titans! OMG! Ok just review my story! PLEASE! I'll give you brownie! –Waves them in front of readers- no? How about a BLUEBERRY MUFFIN? NO! YOU'RE NOT GETTING THEM! THEY ARE MINE! –Stuffs 10 of them in mouth-

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Raven had grown very close to Robin over the 8 months, she even let him start hugging and kissing her in public and let him sleep with her. She trusted him and the titans again. She could always be with them and never be afraid of anything at all, not even Slade. When ever there was a villain to take down or disaster to stop, after 2 months, Raven never came. People got suspicious but there was never any word about it, she just stayed in the tower and never left. Only on one condition that she cleans and tidies up the tower, she wasn't impressed but it was a living.

Everyone was ok with Raven being pregnant and respected it and gave her more space, always asking and offering things to her like she was the queen of England. She was better than ok, she was happy and nobody could take that away from her… true, there had been slightly unfortunate events… like with Beast Boy around 5 months when the titans were downtown shopping…

_Flashback_

_Raven walked around the corner to the living room and wasn't aware that BB was coming the opposite way. The knocked into each other and they both feel on the ground with a moan. Beast Boy rubbed his head then looked up to see Raven, he gasped and looked gob smacked. He jumped up and lifted Raven off the ground._

"_Raven! Are you ok! I'm sorry! I didn't see you! And I-"_

"_It's ok… I'm fine"_

_There was an awkward silence between them when BB just started smiling at her, then he lifted both his hands and placed them softly on Raven's mostly fat stomach, and he watched them. Raven started to feel fear, the fear that he might turn against her and if she doesn't oblige then he will hurt her… then no, he was her friend and he would never hurt her… he's just got an interesting way of saying hello… _

"…_it kicked"_

"_It missed your head"_

_Raven joked still using her daily sarcastic insults, Beast Boy shifted his hands from her stomach to her back and held her while he stepped forward and kissed Raven on the lips passionately. Raven eyes widened in terror and she pushed him away and stumbled back holding to the doorway to get back her balance. Beast Boy's face when white and his mouth fell open like some sort of retarded fish._

"_OMG! Raven! I didn't mean it! Please don't tell Robin, he'll kill me!"_

"_You had your chance Beast Boy… but you never got there… and I'm no Terra"_

_Raven kept walking past Beast Boy and went to the living room. Beast Boy was left standing their, he had just kissed Raven who was in love with Robin. Beast Boy missed Terra deeply and couldn't get over her, but she would just keep rejecting him and that hurt him real bad. He just saw Raven as Terra and she realised that he was comparing her to his crush, but Raven wasn't hurt, she was just concerned… always concerned._

_End Flashback_

That was the most disturbing time, Robin never did find out and now BB has seen Terra kissing and hanging out with another guy. He was heart broken. After Robin broke up with Starfire she had seriously been better off, she has been having more freedom and been feeling good about herself, rather than been trapped by Robin and his limits apparently. Cyborg and Bumble Bee have started dating too and it seems to be going well enough for them.

And then… One fine morning of June 6th 2006… (Ha! 666 get it? Go me!)

Starfire jumped up and down outside Robin's room and was chanting, over in the corner of the corridor was Cyborg and Beast Boy trying to cover their ears from the dreadful debate about nothing.

"COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE!"

Robin came out of his room nearly scared to death by Star's high jumping and shouting, he ran over to the corner with the others and tried not to be seen.

"No! Go back out there! She'll come over!"

Cyborg was right, Star jumped over to them and yelled in their faces louder than ever and then from a distant room it opened to Raven. She looked tired with blue bags under her eyes and she had on a grey t-shirt and a black cardigan wrapped around the top half of her body, she had stretchy black pants on and no shoes, her hair had been grown out to about just below shoulder length all the way around. To Robin, she was a fallen angel.

"COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE!"

"Star… migraine"

She stopped yelling and joined the others giggling madly like she was high. Robin walked over to her and held her hands in his.

"You sure you are going to be ok here by yourself?"

"I'm sure it's not that hard"

"…ok, well be back soon"

He kissed her lips quickly trying not to look at the others laughing and their teasing.

"So what do want to get Star?"

"Um… may I please purchase the Hot Chocolate?"

Raven laughs to herself thinking how could she get such great friends… a guy with a giant sunglasses, a cyborg, an alien and a shape shifter with an extremely munted green tan. It was a life… well a better lived one now anyway. She thought what would have happened if she was gone… would the titans still be together? Happy and rearing to go like always?

Raven walked to the kitchen and started to make herself a herbal tea, she got the cup and boiled the kettle and got her tea and uh… made it? Um… never made tea before… sorry guys! I munted it! Anyway she got her tea then walked to the TV but then her eyes were consumed by a great pain and Raven dropped her tea, hands shaking and moaned as she fell to her knees on the floor clenching her stomach.

She screamed in agony and tried to get up, she fell over a few times hitting her head on the doorway. Once she was up, she took out her communicator and held it to her face… then she threw it across the room, not wanting to disturb the others. She made her way downstairs and walked outside. It was sort of cloudy and misty now, but she didn't care.

She walked over to the rocks and tried to get to the salty ocean water, she fell over and cut her leg, another huge scar right down her leg behind the ripped shreds of her pants. She let out a cry of pain but tried to hold back her emotions but it was no use, rocks started melting and blowing up and being thrown into the sea.

She finally got to the water and jumped in, feeling the stabbing cold liquid cover her body. She closed her eyes tight and watched the black darkness behind her eye lids and held her breath the best so could.

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Raven opened her eyes suddenly and swam to the surface of the sea, she jumped up gasping for breath and coughed. She looked around the water around her and put out her arms till then she saw it… it was her baby.

Raven's blood drained from her face as she carefully lifted her child to the surface, trying not to hurt it. She bought it out but it was not moving. Raven let river flood from her eyes that surely must drown her. She held her new born baby girl and took of her cardigan and wrapped it around her to keep it warm, but yet the baby wouldn't even breathe.

Raven feared she was too late… that she left the baby under the surface of the ocean too long, not giving it any air to breath… suffocating it… murdering it. Raven clenched it with her shaking arms and held it in front of her.

"… Please… breathe, move… do anything! Oh god, please!"

Raven let out a choked whisper, she looked at her child and she felt like she actually wanted the baby… she couldn't fight the bond between mother and child, it was too strong. She wanted to keep her and raise her and be the best mother she could ever possibly be… but her dreams would be shattered if the baby was dead, Raven would be broken.

Raven thought she was dead. She let her child go and it started to sink into the depths of the dark waters. She couldn't bear to face anyone with her dead new born. She watched it till its face fell below the surface… Raven let her tears continue to flow over her pale face but it was no use crying over something that could not be changed. She had killed her own baby… but she thought it would have been better off… never have known her villainous father… and her insane mother.

Then Raven felt a little hand on hers… she gasped and looked down on her baby to see it squirming for oxygen trying to get to her mother to say… I love you. Raven lifted it out of the water and it coughed and choked out the salty water in its throat and it opened its tiny indigo coloured eyes and stared at Raven and it smiled at her and put a hand out to her.

Raven sobbed and smiled back and touched it hand and rubbed it gently… it was alive… this was the best thing that could ever happen to Raven, and no one could take away this moment from her and her baby, she kissed her on the head softly and held her to her warm body and it rested.

"Sleep tight… My Rachel… I love you"

She said to her baby and she swam back to the rocks with one hand and climbed up and sat on the staring to the city while letting the hot sun dry them. Then Raven couldn't believe it… she was a mum… but where was the dad? Then from behind her she heard a light chuckle, she felt very protective of her baby, she warmed up her powers and turned around and screamed at the intruder's presence.

"_My dear little Rachel… and my sweet… Raven'_

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**-Claps loudly- Congratulations Raven! Poor Raven… like if her baby died… that's the most horrible thing that can happen to someone… -wipes away tear- I can't believe Raven would just leave her baby there! Meanie! Well there I told you it was important! Jokes it gets way more important but the only thing you have to do is REVIEW! PLEASE! I WANT TO KNOW IF PEOPLE ARE READING NOW! IT'S NOT DISTURBING IS IT? Oh well 12:06am …time for bed! Doubt there is anything on now.**

**Shady**


	9. Chapter 9

**River of Blood**

**Chapter 9: Spill a Secret**

**Well… I don't know… near the end that's for sure… happy moments are gone now it's all scary and downhill all the way now… right till the very end… EVERYBODY HAS AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! EVERYBODY HAS AIDS!**

Disclaimer: I don't own teen titans but I own my personal effects of the disease called AIDS! Go me!

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_Raven sobbed and smiled back and touched it hand and rubbed it gently… it was alive… this was the best thing that could ever happen to Raven, and no one could take away this moment from her and her baby, she kissed her on the head softly and held her to her warm body and it rested._

"_Sleep tight… My Rachel… I love you"_

_She said to her baby and she swam back to the rocks with one hand and climbed up and sat on the staring to the city while letting the hot sun dry them. Then Raven couldn't believe it… she was a mum… but where was the dad? Then from behind her she heard a light chuckle, she felt very protective of her baby, she warmed up her powers and turned around and screamed at the intruder's presence. _

"_My dear little Rachel… and my sweet… Raven'_

It was Slade. Raven scrambled from the rocks again, noticing her bleeding leg she stood up holding Rachel as far away as possible from Slade. He stepped closer and Raven walked backwards toward the edge of the ocean.

"What do you want?"

"Just to say hi to our daughter"

"She is not your daughter!"

"No matter how much you dislike it Raven, I am. I have right to see her… and I can even take her away with my own hands"

He walked forward another step and Raven jumped back and nearly fell into the ocean, Slade grabbed her free hand and pulled her up to get her balance.

"You don't deserve to be her father"

"Why? Who else do you think will do it? Robin? Oh yes I can you two just fine, in your own house raising your children and everything is happy and joyful. But it isn't for you is it Raven? No… it never was… not for you, life is too horrible for you isn't it? You couldn't even bare to live"

"FUCK OFF!"

Raven screamed at him, She was really pissed then he heard a distant voice from inside the tower calling her name. She looked at Slade not wanting to let him get away, she warms up her powers.

"We'll be in touch… Bye Bye Rachel"

He puts a hand out to stroke her cheek softly but Raven jerks away angrily ready to knock him out with a levitating rock. Then just before the rock hit Slade, he jerked away and jumped into the ocean. A few bubbles rose but no Slade… he was gone… again. Then Robin ran out to her followed by the titans.

"Raven!"

Raven turned to face them holding her Rachel in her arms. The titans all had different expressions of Shock on their faces, but Raven just smiled then laughed at them while they were still in shock. Once they had calmed they walked over to her.

"Raven… are you ok? But… why didn't you call us?"

"I didn't want to bother you, I didn't think you'd care"

"Yeah that was fine, you were only giving birth to a baby WHO CARES? Yeah we didn't need to be there not even for our best friend, we were too busy snoring away in Supre for half an hour and that could never beat this oh so boring moment!"

BB yelled sarcastically everyone stares at him worryingly for a bit.

"… I think you killed it B"

"YOU THINK?"

"Look, it was no big deal… I couldn't reach the phone anyway so I just came out here"

"I'm sorry Rae"

"Please, may we observe your new born!"

She smiled and looked like she was very eager to see her baby, she would make a fine babysitter for Raven if she needed one. She held out her baby to Star and she took it gently in her arms and her eyes watered at the cuteness of the baby. The others gathered around and laughed at Starfire.

"Aww! Hey there! Little one! Well ain't you the sweetest looking angel! Can you say Cyborg? CY… BORG"

"Gocho goche goo! A goche goche goo! Gitche gitche go-"

"Quit it! You're scaring the baby!"

Raven walked back to the ocean edge still trying to look for Slade, she never wants him to interfere with her and Rachel. She didn't even want Rachel to know about him _ever_. Robin walked over beside her and sat down looking the same direction she was.

"Are you ok?"

"…but what about… "

"Don't worry about it, I won't let anything happen to you or your baby"

"… Rachel… her name is Rachel"

"Rachel? That's a beautiful name"

"Thanks"

"… maybe we should go inside, you must be freezing"

Robin got up and held Raven's hand and with Starfire still carrying her baby, they walked back inside the tower and they had something to eat. There was no room for Rachel to sleep but Raven insisted on putting her in her room. In a tiny black rocking cot with painted white flowers on the side, right next to Raven she sleep so peacefully, not crying or making a sound, just softly dreaming in her own land of pleasant and happy thoughts.

Raven wasn't sure if she would leave the titans, but Robin wanted her to stay partly because she didn't have any money, any shelter, her own food and her baby needs full time care and because Robin loved her and Rachel too. They became fast friends and Robin was always helping with things and never complaining like he enjoyed it, and Rachel loved having him around… just like father and daughter. -------

The next day Raven walked out to the living room and instead of everyone eating breakfast, they were sprawled over the couch watching TV. Raven was confused as she looked at the kitchen which she had cleaned 2 days ago, now covered with grease and scraps of food. She growls to herself and walks to the others.

"Ok, who messed up the kitchen?"

"Where is breakfast?"

"…in the kitchen"

Raven stares suspiciously at Beast Boy as to why is he asking this, Cyborg joins in too.

"Yeah but where is the already made food _from _the kitchen?"

"Make it yourself, I don't want any"

"Um excuse me Raven but over the last 8 months, you haven't really been fighting criminals or anything and we really could have used your help you know? We got bruises and everything!"

"Well believe it or not, it wasn't a picnic for me either!"

"You could at least help with breakfast!"

Now Raven was mad, they were taking advantage of her, now that she was a mum she would have to look after the titans as well? Robin could see Raven getting pissed and he decided to make it stop.

"Um… guys, it's cool just… I can make breakfast"

They ignored him and carried on to win their fight, Raven VS. Beast Boy.

"WHY? Just so it can improve my home skills!"

"Yeah! That is a good idea! Don't expect to order pizza everyday!"

"YOU MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING BREAKFAST!"

"Come on Raven! It's not like you didn't expect to have your baby and have to raise it!"

"I NEVER expected to have Rachel!"

"Was that when you have sex with someone else or when you took the pregnancy test?"

"...God dammit Beast Boy! I WAS RAPED!"

Everyone gasped in horror at her words, even Robin. She promised she would never tell her friends but she just did… she didn't know what to do. She had calmed down but now felt the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She walked backwards slowly then ran back to her room and closed her door behind her.

Everyone turned to Robin still trying to act as if he didn't know, he looked to them and blushed.

"Um OMG! Who in the world did that!"

"You knew… and you never told us"

Robin shrugged and tried to give Cyborg a wild crazy look as if to not know what he was talking about, he whistled and looked back to the TV and flipped the channel to Gilmore Girls.

"Ah! …my favourite show! …"

Raven got into her room and picked up her crying baby. She patted it on the back and tried to calm it down but it was use, it was crying so bad Raven got a headache, Rachel wanted something but she had no idea what.

"Please Rach, what do you want?"

She held her baby in front of her as if trying to communicate with it, good luck. Then it hit her, perhaps she was hungry… and that was then only thing that Raven could think of, she had no experience in looking after babies or how to treat them. She needed help. The titans wouldn't be much use to her as they would probably throw it off a cliff if it sneezed. She needed supplies too, but where would she get them? Where would she get the money? She would have to go out into public and then everyone would know.

Already things were getting out of hand, and Rachel wasn't even a week old. And no matter how hard she denied it, somewhere in her heart she really wished that her baby was dead. Rotting at the bottom of the ocean peacefully where no one would ever find her, only her friendly fish comforting her till the entire sea dries up.

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**Oh deary me, but wait! Things will get worse… what if the city did find out… Muahahaha! I am evil fear me fear me I am evil yes I am! BB is mean! BB must die! BB must die! …who said that? Nah I'm only psyching mate! …what mate? DOES ANYONE READ THIS LOAD OF SHIT? I do! I write it too! Go me! And until next time… IT'S SHADY'S FIC! SHADY'S FIC! KILLING TIME! EXCELLENT! WHOO!**

**Shady**


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